Disclaimer: The information shared in this article reflects the views and experiences of guest contributor Chrissy Lawler, LMFT, and is provided for general informational purposes only. This content is not intended to constitute medical, psychological, therapeutic, or sleep advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for advice from your pediatrician or other qualified healthcare professional. Every child and family is different, and parents should consult their healthcare provider regarding questions or concerns about their child's sleep, health, or development.
If you have ever felt completely overwhelmed by your child's sleep habits, you are not alone! Welcome to another edition of Beyond the Box. Today, we are thrilled to hear from Chrissy Lawler, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), educator, and the founder of The Peaceful Sleeper.
Unlike one-size-fits-all sleep trainers, Chrissy’s approach is rooted in maternal mental health, evidence-informed strategies, and the protection of parent-child attachment. She advocates for intuitive sleep learning, empowering parents to find a sleep solution that works for their unique family without the mom-guilt.
We sat down with Chrissy to discuss how parents can approach sleep with confidence, navigate tricky early mornings, and create supportive bedtime routines.
You often use the phrase 'sleep learning' instead of 'sleep training.' Can you explain the difference between the two and why this shift in mindset is so important for parents?
When sleep training was first introduced, it was often much more rigid than it needed to be, and that left many well-meaning parents with a bad taste in their mouth. In the 80s, the approach was often something like “close the door at 7 PM and come back at 7 AM,” even if a baby cried for long stretches. Because that didn’t sit well with many families, the pendulum has swung in the other direction, where some parents feel they must fully support sleep indefinitely and avoid any frustration at all.
That’s why I talk about sleep learning. In my experience, Independent sleep can be viewed as a developmental milestone and a skill that babies can learn over time. When babies learn to fall asleep on their own, they’re also able to transition between sleep cycles more easily, which may support deeper, more restorative sleep and fewer night wakings.
Like any developmental milestone, there can be a little protest along the way. I’m not anti-crying, but I encourage parents to look at sleep through a developmental lens and think about how to support learning while gradually stepping back. I often compare it to learning to ride a bike. Children start with trikes and training wheels, and eventually those supports come off. There might be some wobbles, but once they learn the skill, it opens the door to so much more independence.
Early-morning wakings are a major struggle for parents. What is a top strategy you suggest for keeping early risers content in bed until an appropriate wake time?
For older toddlers and preschoolers, I love using an “okay to wake” clock. It changes colors when it’s time to get out of bed, which helps children understand the expectation before they’re old enough to read a clock.
It’s also helpful to give kids something quiet they can do if they wake early. That might be playing with stuffed animals, looking at books, or listening to a story. A Toniebox can work really well for this because it gives them something calm and engaging to focus on while they stay in their room.
For younger babies, parents can briefly pop in and let them know it’s not quite time to start the day. Then when the actual wake time arrives, make it very clear that morning has started by opening the curtains, turning on lights, and greeting them with lots of energy. That contrast helps reinforce the difference between night and morning.
Many parents worry about accidentally creating negative 'sleep props.' Is letting a child fall asleep while listening to a Toniebox a healthy, independent sleep tool?
For many families, yes. Listening to a story can actually help children focus their minds on one calm thing so they can drift off more easily. For older toddlers especially, it can help guide their imagination in a positive direction instead of letting their mind wander to worries or scary thoughts that sometimes lead to nighttime fears.
I also love that the Toniebox gives kids some independence. They can choose their story and start it themselves, which builds a sense of autonomy and confidence around bedtime. Instead of relying on a parent to create the conditions for sleep, they’re participating in their own wind-down process.
If a child wakes up at 2 AM, is it okay for them to reach over and turn their Toniebox back on to help them fall back asleep? Or does this reinforce a wakeful habit that parents should intervene on?
I actually think that’s a great strategy. It gives children a tool they can use independently to fall back asleep. When kids know they have something they can do to help themselves settle, it can reduce the stress or panic they sometimes feel when they wake up in the middle of the night.
Also, if they’re listening to a story they’ve heard many times before, it usually isn’t stimulating enough to encourage staying awake. In fact, it’s far less reinforcing than going to get mom or dad in the middle of the night. Having a simple, predictable tool like that can actually support independent sleep.
You teach that before parents even attempt to change a sleep habit, they need to establish the '4 Pillars of Sleep Foundation.' What are those pillars, and do you think the Toniebox can help with any of them?
Before we try to change sleep habits, we first want to make sure the child has a strong sleep foundation. In my work I talk about the four pillars: optimizing feedings, timing, calming strategies, and addressing sources of discomfort.
Full feedings means making sure babies are getting as many calories as they comfortably can during the day so they aren’t relying on night wakings for nutrition. Timing refers to paying attention to awake windows, sleepy cues, and avoiding overtiredness so babies are going to sleep at the right time.
The third pillar is calming strategies. This is about helping babies and children learn how to regulate and settle their bodies before sleep. The fourth pillar is identifying and addressing sources of discomfort, such as gas, reflux, food sensitivities, or oral restrictions like tongue ties that might interfere with sleep.
I usually talk about these pillars in the context of newborns, but a Toniebox can definitely play a role in calming strategies and in the wind-down routine. Listening to a familiar story can help signal that bedtime is coming and create a calm, predictable transition toward sleep.
What is your favorite Tonie to incorporate into a sleep routine?
I really love the story Tonies. My five-year-old especially loves The Secret Garden and listens to it almost every night. I like that it gives her imagination something peaceful to focus on instead of worries or nighttime fears, and it’s a story she’s genuinely excited about. I also love that there’s such a wide variety of stories so kids can find something that really resonates with them.
Supporting Your Family's Sleep Journey
Navigating your child's sleep habits is a process of learning, adjusting, and discovering what best supports your family. By focusing on connection and providing comforting, predictable tools, you can build an environment that encourages rest.
Whether it is offering screen-free audio for a toddler who wakes up early, or serving as an engaging part of your evening wind-down, the Toniebox is designed to be a supportive feature in your daily routines. With a wide variety of stories, music, and quiet-time content, it can provide children with a familiar and engaging screen-free listening experience as part of their bedtime routine.
Editor's Note: This article is part of our Beyond the Box series featuring perspectives from guest experts and members of the tonies community. The views expressed are those of the guest contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of tonies.